i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you traded sex for a burrito?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
