does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
