Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
God, I missed his penis.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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