I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
