when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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