So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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