everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
