Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
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he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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