Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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