i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
