i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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