For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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