Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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