Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
