i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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