Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
