idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
