Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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