Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
