How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
