She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
