He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
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trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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