New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
