can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
