omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize