Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
