i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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