Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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