So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
