Where is the hickey?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't deserve a penis
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
