Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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