Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
