Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
