is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
