Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
