wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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