Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
