even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
