New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize