Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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