She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
