so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
