He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
