she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
