from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
did i just pee glitter
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
