I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
