We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
