Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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