Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize