isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize