She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's always time for handjobs
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
