When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
