..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
