Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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