True but thats because hes a fetus.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
