then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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