When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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