Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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