he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
