I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
