My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
