Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up