You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.