My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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