Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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  (305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz
  Replies (52) Good night (36649) Bad night (1638) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life

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  (818): I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life http://tfl.nu/xzyw
  Replies (40) Good night (4954) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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  (715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3
  Replies (78) Good night (1075) Bad night (4871) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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  (506): Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell http://tfl.nu/5oyd
  Replies (19) Good night (3872) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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  (610): my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park http://tfl.nu/hm3c
  Replies (23) Good night (1145) Bad night (5202) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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  (508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (2661) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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  (781): please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again. http://tfl.nu/xtmx
  Replies (9) Good night (4807) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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  (310): I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/towc
  Replies (7) Good night (2523) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough

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  (423): The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough http://tfl.nu/ewgw
  Replies (5) Good night (2320) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4551) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked

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  (612): Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked http://tfl.nu/3gae
  Replies (12) Good night (3019) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.

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  (251): I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this. http://tfl.nu/9nyi
  Replies (10) Good night (1645) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
  Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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  (678): You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow' http://tfl.nu/uw7w
  Replies (12) Good night (3015) Bad night (558)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt

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