Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
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in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato