Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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