I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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