Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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