All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
