I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize